Look! If someone tells you that a marriage requires hard work, don't you believe it. If it requires any kind of work at all, I'm afraid you married the wrong person. Soul-mates are forever -- and when you find your soul-mate it is magical. It is like you've known each other all of your lives and anything before that time is just a distant dream. I learned this from my cousin Jaye. She said, "Marriage should be easy - it shouldn't be hard." After marrying two losers, number three turned out to be her soul-mate.
The secret to a happy marriage is this: Be Happy!!! If you both choose to be happy you will have a long and happy marriage. No one (and I mean NO ONE) can make you happy or sad. Happiness is your choice alone and you have a moral imperative to BE happy. Remember that you are personally responsible for your own happiness.
It is true that misery loves company -- but do not fall into the trap of commiserating. Stay away from miserable people. If you are around people who are criticising their spouses, walk (make that RUN) away.
Always be honest - and keep no secrets. True love cannot exist in the absence of honesty. (Read Greg Baer's "Real Love") No secret is worth keeping from the one you love. Do not be afraid to be vulnerable, because honesty will make you vulnerable.
Openness and open dialogue will serve you well. Never (and I mean NEVER) judge another (especially your spouse). There is only one judge in the universe. Pirkei Avot 2:5 Says, Never judge another until you reach his place. Another of the sages commenting on this passage added: "and you will never reach his place."
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